Celebrity Quotes

"My health is good enough about the shoulders."

"My horse was in the lead, coming down the homestretch, but the caddie fell off."

"I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf."

"The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing."

"If it weren't for electricity, we'd all be watching television by candlelight."

"I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me."

"An archeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her."

"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog...well, it's just too dark to read."

"Work is the curse of the drinking classes."