Yo mama so stupid she's worried about tripping over her cordless phone.
I work on the internet. I get asked lots of questions by customers, neighbors and relatives. This question may have an answer: "I want to download the Internet. Do I need a bigger hard disk?"
"Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."
— Flight attendant on a Northwest flight after a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis.