adale's quickies

My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how are we alike?"

My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, "62."

Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and NASA mistook her for a new island.

Yo mama so stupid that she thought a quarterback was a rebate.

Yo mama so old that she has an autographed copy of the Bible.

Yo mama so ugly that she spent 12 hours at the beautician, just getting a quote!

Yo mama so stupid it took her an hour to make minute rice.

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?"

Yo mama so old, her memories are still in black and white.