Give Me a Dibble Martuni.

A lady stumbles into a bar. She says, "Beertender, give me a dibble martuni, and put a pickle in it."

He gives it to her, and she drinks it down.

She says, "Beertender, give me another dibble martuni, and put a pickle in it."

He gives it to her, and she drinks it down.

She says, "Beertender, give me another dibble martuni, and you better put two pickles in it, because . . . because I've got heartburn."

The bartender replys, "Look lady . . .it's not beertender, it's bartender. It's not a martuni, it's a martini. It's not a dibble, it's a double. That's not a pickle, it's an onion. And you haven't got heartburn, you've got your left tit in the ashtray."