Yo mama so ugly that when she gets up the sun goes down.
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Golf Is a Guilty PleasureA man was on his weekly golfing trip. He began his day with a birdie on the first hole and an eagle on the second. On the third hole he had just made his first ever hole in one, when his cell phone rang. It was a doctor notifying him that his wife had just been in a terrible accident and was in critical condition and in the ICU. The man told the doctor to inform his wife where he was and that he'd be there as soon as possible. As he hung up he realized he was leaving what was shaping up to be his best day ever on the greens. He decided to get in a couple of more holes before heading to the hospital. He ended up playing the rest of the morning, finishing his day with the lowest score he's ever thought about. He was jubilant. Then he remembered his wife. Feeling guilty, he dashed to the hospital. He saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about his wife's condition. The doctor glared at him and shouted, 'You went ahead and finished your golf game, didn't you! I hope you're proud of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself on the links, your wife has been languishing in the ICU! It's just as well you went ahead and finished, because it will be more than likely the last golfing trip you ever take!' 'For the rest of her life she will require 'round the clock care. And you'll be her care giver forever!' The man was feeling so guilty he broke down and sobbed. The doctor then chuckled and said, 'I'm just screwing with you. She's dead. What was your score?' |
Say What"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it." |