Granny in Court

Defense Attorney: "Will you please state your age?"

Little Old Lady: "I am 86 years old."

Defense Attorney: "Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?"

Little Old Lady: "There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me."

Defense Attorney: "Did you know him?"

Lttle Old Lady: "No, but he sure was friendly."

Defense Attorney: "What happened after he sat down?"

Little Old Lady: "He started to rub my thigh."

Defense Attorney: "Did you stop him?"

Little Old Lady: "No, I didn't stop him."

Defense Attorney: "Why not?"

Little Old Lady: "It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner died some 30 years ago."

Defense Attorney: "What happened next?"

Little Old Lady: "He began to rub my breasts."

Defense Attorney: "Did you stop him then?"

Little Old Lady: "No, I did not stop him."

Defense Attorney: "Why not?"

Little Old Lady: "His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited I haven't felt that good in years!"

Defense Attorney: "What happened next?"

Little Old Lady: "Well, by then, I was feeling so 'spicy' that I just laid down and told him 'Take me, young man. Take me!'"

Defense Attorney: "Did he take you?"

Little Old Lady: "Hell, no! He just yelled, 'April Fool!' And that's when I shot him, the little bastard."