Yo mama so fat people call her Lardo.
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft.
— Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
"The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
— Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst