Yo mama so fat that when she got on the bus, she sat next to EVERYONE.
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft.
— Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
"Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have."
— Continental Airlines flight attendant