Lawyer Jokes

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

— Larry the Cable Guy

Best Response of the Year

If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the policeman's credibility...

Southern Grandma

Lawyers should never ask a Southern Grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern Small-Town Prosecuting Attorney called his first witness , a Grandmotherly, Elderly Woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

Granny in Court

Being old doesn't mean being helpless, as this story verifies...or maybe this is just another sign of generation wars.

Two Lawyers on a Desert Isle

Two lawyers had been stranded on a desert island for several months. The only thing on the island was a tall coconut tree that provided them their only food. Each day one of the lawyers would climb to the top to see if he could spot a rescue boat coming.

Dead Lawyers

What's the difference between a dead cat on the road and a dead lawyer on the road?

— A dead cat has skid marks around it.

The Lawer Meets St. Peter

Lawyers don't often get the opportunity to go to heaven. This one is getting a break.

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