Yo mama so ugly that she spent 12 hours at the beautician, just getting a quote!
An Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, "What is this Father?"
"Where can we find Amish hookers? We want to buy a quilt."
— Tourist Qusetions
"I think that the surest sign that there is other intelligent life in our universe is that none of it has tried to contact us."
— Billy Watterson, cartoonist