My best friend ran away with my wife.
— I really miss him.
An Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, "What is this Father?"
"Where can we find Amish hookers? We want to buy a quilt."
— Tourist Qusetions
Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
— Larry the Cable Guy